We had no idea when Brandon started school he would have such incredible difficulties just finding a friend. He'd always had friends, right from birth he had his best friend Darci-Lynn and many others who knew and loved him. When he was diagnosed with NF at the age of 5, we were afraid to place him is the school system and didn't know where to turn. We'd finally enrolled him in a special education program through Renfrew Educational Services, but they only went to third grade. We felt the best chance he had was to get him to a small town atmosphere where people would be more kind and understanding so we sold everything, left our careers, our family and our friends and moved to the country, all for Brandon. We made it just in time, he started grade one a couple weeks after we'd made our big move.

It didn't take long for the system to label Brandon with a myriad of issues. While we didn't always agree with their evaluations, we knew this was the best way to get Brandon the attention he needed in school. And so began the endless rounds of IPPs (Independent Program Plans), special education assistants, and remedial help for most of what Brandon did. No one we'd ever met had even heard of NF, so they just labelled him as ADD and handled it accordingly. The learning complications of NF can be similar to ADD but the cause is completely different. In the end, the only thing all this 'extra' attention produced was a further alienation by his peers. By now everyone could see Brandon struggling with social and physical interaction with his peers.

As he got older, he continued to live with learning difficulties, social isolation and constant bullying from his peers in our community, on the bus trip to and from town and within the school environment. In the early years, the bus ride was relatively pleasant. In short order, however, our route endured several different bus drivers, with varying degrees of issues; issues which were often not even involving our son. One bully in particular, who had been kicked off a neighbouring bussing system completely, was subsequently enrolled in the local school system and started riding the same bus as Brandon. The bullying went from bad to worse.

These issues continued to evolve as the kids became older and the conflicts became more physical and hurtful. We recognize our son was no innocent in matters involving his peers, but we also recognize that these problems were not being caused by him. He may have retaliated for the torment he endured, but all he wanted was to be included and not be harassed. The problems became so bad we'd requested time and time again that something be done to control the out-of-control situation we were involved with. We had spoken to other parents in the community, and we all recognized that something needed to be done. Brandon was of course blamed fully by his peers for the installation of the cameras that were eventually installed on the bus and he would often come home with stories of torment he'd received because of our insistence that these problems be addressed. Unfortunately, installing the cameras on the bus did little to control the problem. As told to us from other kids on the bus, as well as our own, they were often told when the camera was going to be turned on by their current bus driver. In fact, it seemed it was now being using as a way to control these kids by threatening them with 'The Camera' whenever things were getting out of control. We once again advocated for our child and asked that the cameras be operational whenever the bus was running until this matter was resolved. We were told the matter would be addressed.

By this time, the bus driver had our son fully isolated at the front of the bus as his peers would torment him so completely when he was close to them and the bus driver could not stop it so he just removed 'the chicken from the hen house' so to speak. We'd been told verbally by someone within the bussing department that time had been taken to review the tapes and they could see that Brandon was not the problem. It was stated at that time that more time was needed to review the tapes as there were hours of footage and more time was necessary to have a detailed look. We were told they would summarise and document the findings in a letter to us as soon as possible.

It was also offered that we consider alternative bussing arrangements to get Brandon away from his tormentors; we could drive him the 20 miles to school and back twice a day, or we could arrange to have the handi-bus pick him up instead. Of course we were also given the choice to have him remain on the bus as by then everyone knew Brandon was not the problem. The school year ended without hearing anything more about the matter, no letter was received, no summary of findings was sent; no contact was ever made by them again.

Our son hung himself that summer, on July 28, 2005.

There are so many instances where we should have received some sort of follow up from someone in the local school division office and it just never happened. Someone at the high school even said to us 'people move on, people forget, only you will remember the hardships he endured.' We were told several times to expect a letter outlining their findings based on the tapes they had in their possession. The only letter we'd ever received was one that told us the reason the kids on the bus were never address was because "we didn't contact the right department." Considering the many people involved at the time, and the fact we were grieving the loss of our son, it was impossible to imagine why they would be expecting us, the parents, to ensure this was handled in a compassionate and considerate manner.

We know that nothing can be done to bring our son back. It is, however, extremely important to us that this not continue to go unnoticed to ensure the next family does not have to endure the frustration of dealing with a system that was unable to protect our child from the constant bullying that was his life. By failing to address our concerns, even after our son's unfortunate death, they were neglecting their responsibilities to us as parents to ensure a safe and secure environment for all our children. Many people ask us why we didn't sue the local school board. This was never considered as it is common knowledge most lawsuits end with confidentiality agreements and we did not want this story stifled in any manner!

We have chosen to home-school Brandon's two siblings as we are extremely concerned about the way this issue has been handled and would be horrified to watch our little ones climb up those school bus stairs and into their care once again. For some time now, we have been contemplating how to resolve this outstanding situation and allow for moving forward and putting this issue to rest. Those who have actually spoken to us about Brandon know our heart is about making changes, not placing blame. Those who know us know we are not people to randomly and thoughtlessly set out to harm reputations or destroy lives. We are not about hurtful or harmful retaliation and we are not about settling the score. In fact, our utmost goal in all of this is not just accountability and change but most of all forgiveness. To recognize that each person and no one person played a part in the outcome of this situation, to see people truly want change to occur, this is what we strive for.

We'd anticipated their most politically correct response and we expected no less from the current system we found ourselves dealing with. As we reviewed paperwork and assessments, we noted Brandon was to be sent for an assessment with a psychologist in the fall of 2005 because by the time they met with us it was too late in the school year and the psychologist was unavailable by then. We also note that we'd been told to expect help for Brandon with the transition to high school but this was not assigned to anyone and was also not addressed until the end of the school year, hoping for a better grade 9. "Grade 8 was a write-off" we were told. Brandon never made it to grade 9.

This provides us with even more determination to reach out to those who will listen and try to affect a paradigm shift in the minds of youth and adults alike to ensure others will not suffer needlessly as Brandon did. We've been given a strong voice and we will do what we can in this battle against bullying. Each of us must decide in our own hearts before we can even begin to affect change in other people.

We must ask ourselves, did we truly do all we could? Was leaving our special needs child, Brandon, isolated and alone in the front seat of an out-of-control bus the best way to ensure his human rights were not being violated? Was allowing the school year to end with a student and his parents still searching for answers to these questions and wondering why no one seemed concerned with our heartache and frustration the best way to handle the situation? Then to leave us without answers of any kind month after month after Brandon's suicide, with no response to our search for closure, was this really all they could do?

As his family, we knew Brandon better than anyone. We saw his daily struggles with his peers, heard his stories of isolation and fear, watched him continue to deal with the effects of Neurofibromatosis; we knew he was dealing with more than any one person could be expected to handle. We knew he was at risk for depression; who wouldn't be in his situation? We'd asked for help, we'd been assured he was ready for high school when we asked if he should be held back. We'd asked for a smooth transition to high school with their help but even this was not addressed in a timely manner.

As parents we can't help but wonder what might had been if we'd pushed for this harder, we will always have doubts, we will always have questions about what might have been done differently. If we don't continue to ask these questions, how do we change it? How do we prevent a similar tragedy from occurring? How do we prevent kids like Brandon from falling through the cracks and missing some obviously necessary intervention? Can we look deep within the system and see what could have possibly been done differently without worrying about what would be exposed within? If this was truly all we could have done, then we must all ask ourselves if this is the way we want our children to treat their fellow man as they grow up and become independent adults, is this the message we want to send to our young people? "We did all we could," leaves little room for improvement.

For those unsure of our motives, let us assure you that our utmost desire is for change. We searched deep within to determine the best way to address this tragedy. We did not come upon this decision lightly and we do take our commitment very seriously. As parents with extremely valid concerns, we felt those concerns were not being taken into account when decisions were being made regarding our situation. When asked to be accountable for decisions made, our educators chose instead to be protectionists and in doing so have failed to live up to their responsibilities to those loved ones we place in their care every day. In not knowing how to handle this tragic event, perhaps the deepest oversight was in failing to do nothing.

• Introduction
• Dedication
• Medical Problems
• His Medical Team
• His Education
• His Teen Years
• His Death
• His Challenge To You
• Photo Gallery